#BridesmaidDuties: Beyond The Hashtag
More than just a fancy Instagram hashtag to go with a fancy picture.
Your ride or die chic, or someone as random as your colleague’s supplier of a special natural hair leave-in conditioner mix has just asked that you grace her wedding with your presence by being on her bridal train. In other words, you have been carefully and painstakingly selected from a number of other ladies to be a bridesmaid.
Either you accept the offer because you’ve been longing for the opportunity to make your bridesmaid debut, or because you felt boxed in a corner and couldn’t bring yourself to blurt out anything but a positive reply, or maybe you just belong to the category of people who have a phobia for the word “no”, you’ve officially been saddled with the #bridesmaidduty.
Of course, being asked and accepting to be a bridesmaid comes with its perceived perks – the gorgeous dress, hair styling and make-up done by industry professionals, automatic free pass to the lavish bridal shower and the spotlight which tends to jack up your chances of being spotted by a man candy.
However, beyond sitting pretty, getting glammed up and being paired with a groomsman who could happen to be a handsome hunk, there’s a reason the word bridesmaid features both bride and maid.
A bridesmaid is known to attend to the bride on the day of a wedding ceremony. However, it is important to note that the word is not in anyway synonymous with cheap labour, neither does it describe a group of ladies who are allowed to be bossed around by a bride-zilla.
What exactly do they do?
The pretty dresses, professionally done make-up, hotel bills, flight ticket (in cases of a destination wedding) and even the bouquets don’t come free, they also do not come cheap.
As a bridesmaid, you are expected to spend towards the success of the bride’s wedding. In some cases, the brides are kind enough to foot some of the bills. However, the bulk of the expenses still falls on you.
Given the recent trend observed in Nigerian weddings, it is safe to say that except you’re willing to dole out wads of Naira without batting an eyelid, you should politely decline the offer when asked to be a bridesmaid. Your friend’s (or acquaintance) wedding should not cause too much dent in your pocket.
Yay! Some fun, right? Well, at the risk of sounding like a grinch, I feel the need to clarify that the bridal shower is more than just you attending, adhering to a strict themed dress code, taking loads of pictures for the “gram” with the perfect backdrop and props, and satisfying your taste buds with yummy desserts and mouthwatering dishes.
Some serious behind-the-scene activities goes into putting up the perfect bridal shower, and unless the service of a planner will be enlisted, it is the job of the bridesmaids (with the maid of honour spearheading the team) to plan the bridal shower. You will be required to chip in ideas, make suggestions, contribute financially, run some errands and also, try as much as possible not to spill the beans to the bride-to-be, as bridal showers are designed to be a pleasant surprise.
Emotional and Moral support
A bridesmaid often works in the company of other ladies (with different personalities and breaking point) and most importantly, the bride. Due to anxiety and tension, it is not out of place for brides to freak out and vent. Calming and putting her at ease should rank higher on your priority ladder, way above your need to grumble about how you consider yourself a better and more perfect fit for the position of the maid of honour because you’ve known her the longest.
There is not a more perfect time to maintain a cool and calm demeanour than when reporting for your bridesmaid duties. It is never the time to complain about how unflattering the dress looks or whine about how the shoe is a waste of your hard earned money as you don’t see yourself ever wearing it again, or turn up your nose at every point where there’s a need for financial contribution. You don’t want to come off as the unnecessarily stand-offish and hard to put up with kind of bridesmaid.
Your role, basically, is to serve as the bride’s support system, shielding her from every form of negative vibes that may arise as the wedding ceremony approaches and on the actual day of the wedding.
Trust me, your emotional strength will be tested.
Bridesmaids duties also include and are not limited to assisting the bride in getting into her dress, holding up the bride’s dress, maintaining order and a good composure, getting in line for the bridal bouquet toss (except you’re married), checking up on the bride’s needs (remember, there’s a thin line that separates genuine care from irritatingly doting), attending to guests, mingling and socializing.
More than the perks, the real sense of fulfilment comes from knowing that you were able to serve as more than just another bridal accessory.
Write up: Je’ajoplan Event
Photo Credit; Instagram
klala photography, Digital suite, Giwa Akeem photography, Lypix photography0